Friday, August 1, 2014

Saying Goodbye

It's been almost a year since my life changed forever with the loss of a very dear person. I've wanted to write this post for nearly that long, but it's been hard finding my way to it. This is not going to be a post about my dear friend, that is too personal, but a post about clay and the path to healing.

The decision for cremation was made and the ashes would be spread on our property during an intimate gathering of only the closest friends and family. I have to admit the first thing that came to mind was the scene in The Big Lebowski with The Dude catching a face full of Donnie's ashes. Things can go very wrong when spreading ashes and although amusing in a movie one should try to avoid it in real life. My dear friend was gentle and sincere and I just had to find a way to give him a gentle farewell.  

I looked around for ideas, but with ashes the best people have to offer is dropping from an airplane or having the ashes turned into fireworks and shot into the air. Both of these would be great send offs for the right people, but not this one.  Somehow the story of chai tea on Indian trains came to mind. I got to work.

I started throwing small unfired urns that we could carry into the woods, spend a moment saying goodbye, and place under trees, ferns, flowers. With the rain the clay would gently dissolve and the clay and ashes would gently become one with the earth.  

I write about this here to give the idea to others looking for a way to say goodbye peacefully. It is an option that I wanted to share.

Let your heart sing.


-B